Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Thoughts on Going Back to Work

Well, today's the day I kept thinking was so far away....the day I return to work (and in case you're wondering how I'm posting from work, this post was magically set to post on its own).  By the time this  posts, I'll have been at work for about an hour.  So forgive the confusing nature of me writing this in the future tense.

The hubby and I will be dropping Hayes off at his new school together.  I figure I could use a little moral support!  I've taken Hayes to play there once, so he could get used to it a bit before today.  And he loved it.  His teachers and the school are great!  But still, this mommy's heart is going to be sad.

Well-meaning friends and family members keep assuring me that it will just take some getting used to and that he's going to be great.  And I'm sure he will be.  But my adoptive mama friends will understand why I'm a little extra worried.  I'm most worried about our progress with his attachment (to read more on attachment in adoption click here).  I just don't want us to take steps backwards in how far we've come.

I thought I'd be ready to go back to work-that I'd be bored at home (and that is in NO way to offend you stay at home moms.  I know how tiring it is.  I just love teaching!).  I'm worried I'm going to be rusty and not know what's going on (well, that 2nd part is true.  There's been a lot of changes at my school, so I probably won't know what's going on!).  LOTS of worries here, so prayers would definitely be appreciated! Oh, and advice too.  If you adopted and went back to work, how did it go?  How did your child(ren) deal with it?

I mean, look at this face!  You wouldn't want to go back to work either!

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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Weekend Fun at the Punkin' Patch

Saturday afternoon the hubby and I headed out to the pumpkin patch with his sister, hubby, and nephews.  There was lots to see and do there, although Hayes wasn't too interested in much of it (probably because he was running on a 30 minute nap!). He was more concerned with what his cousins Jack and Knox were up to!  We did go on a hayride (which I thought he would like!), that he endured thanks to a bag of Puffs and Cheerios!

Here are a few pictures from our fun afternoon!

Our attempts at taking our own picture...



Cousin love!

Sweet boys!

We did get 1 good family shot!

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Monday, October 22, 2012

Nate Berkus for Target

As many of you have heard, the Nate Berkus for Target collection came out yesterday.  I haven't been to check it out yet (I fear for my wallet!), but here are a few of my favorites from the collection.  I'd L-O-V-E to have any and all of these in my home!

Stylish and affordable!  Have any of you scooped up any gorgeous pieces yet?

Happy Monday, Wayman Family Nesters!

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Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday Finds: Pumpkin Roundup

Hello, Wayman Family Nesters and Happy Friday!  Since we have yet to buy a pumpkin in the Wayman house, I thought I would share some lovely pumpkins that I found that inspired me while perusing Pinterest.  I'll admit that I haven't been in the Halloween spirit this year (I still have yet to make Hayes a costume!), so beauts are sure to get me in the mood.

8. Moth decal pumpkin   9.  Crayon dripped pumpkin    10.  Hometown pride pumpkin 

I don't know if I'll feel ambitious enough to tackle any of these.  We usually do a pumpkin-carving contest at my parents' house.  But I thought these were nice alternatives to the traditional carved pumpkins.  What about you?  Carved or artsy pumpkins?

Happy Friday y'all!
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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Attachment 101

A couple of days ago I mentioned I'd be doing about how Hayes has been doing as far as attachment goes, so here we go...

Hayes was 6 1/2 months old when we brought him home.  He had lived in 2 different orphanages during his young life.  He was passed around among many caregivers.  He had no real attachment to anyone.  When we brought him back to the guest house where we were staying, the other families kept exclaiming what a "good" baby he was.  I knew that this was not normal (and not that he wasn't a "good" baby, but it's not normal for a baby to NEVER cry.  On the flip side, he didn't smile or make cooing noises much either.).  He was just as content to be held by random strangers in Ethiopia (and they WILL just take your baby from you!  haha!) as he was to be held by us.  Hayes did not trust that any one specific person would be there to meet his needs.  So from the time we arrived home, we began "cocooning."

For 2 weeks Hayes and I didn't leave the house.  Most families actually cocoon much longer, but I was going stir crazy!  The hubby and I were the only ones to hold, feed, rock, bathe, change, and comfort him.  When he did cry, we immediately met his needs (usually with a bottle and cuddle time).  After 2 weeks we ventured out a bit, usually just to Target so mommy could get out of the house.  A couple of times (even after being home for a month) we went to a restaurant and it was just too much for him.  After these instances we would stay at home for a few days.  We didn't usually get out but once every 3-4 days.  After 2 weeks we also let immediate family hold him.  Honestly, I was planning on waiting longer, but I didn't feel that people really understood (and I felt like they were upset with us), so I bulked under the pressure.  After we had been home for about a month, we went to church.  Even there we didn't allow anyone to hold him (which is what we did when we went anywhere was there were more than just a few people present).

For us it was a beautiful time of bonding.  It is such a crucial time to Hayes's healing process.  We have seen a huge difference in our son.  He now cries and lets us know when he has a need.  He smiles and laughs and is an all-around happy, confident little guy. He loves to be cuddled and he loves touch-holding hands, putting his hands on our faces, etc.  He will let other people hold him, but still looks for mommy and sometimes wants to come back to me.  When he fusses when someone else is holding him, we still are the ones to comfort him.  He knows that we are mommy and daddy.  The difference in him is truly amazing.  

And still after 4 months at home, we've been the only ones to feed, bathe, change, and rock him to sleep.  We also have only left him in the nursery on 2 occasions and once with a family member (for 1 hour).  This is about to DRASTICALLY change as I go back to work a week from today.  To say that I'm nervous is an understatement, but more on that later as this post is getting lengthy!  We'll continue to watch Hayes, as attachment is an ongoing process.  I've already told the hubby that if we see him regress in the area of attachment, then I'm quitting!  And I mean it!  I'm not going to work the detriment of our bond with Hayes.  We would love to have your prayers during this time of transition for our family.

Here are some things I wished we had done a little differently that maybe can help some of you in the process:
- Prepare friends and family for what cocooning will look like ahead of time.
- Cocoon as long as you feel is necessary.  
- Stick to the rules that you established as far as the time frame for others to hold him.  
- Wear younger children in a wrap/ergo.  I didn't do this (I usually just held him on the couch or rocked him), but I think he would have benefitted from this.

For more info on cocooning and attachment, read here, here or here.

Sorry for the LONG post, but hopefully some of you who have just arrived home with your children or  who will soon be home with your children will benefit from this in some way.  

Here are some pictures of what attachment looked like early on in our house...

Snuggles with mommy.

Snuggles with daddy.

Snuggles in the big bed.

More snuggles with daddy.

Bath time.

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Monday, October 15, 2012

4 Months Home!

I can't believe our little guy has been home for 4 months.  

Time has gone by WAY too quickly!  I'll be returning to work in a week and a half.  I'm trying to have a good attitude, but many tears have already been shed by this mama!

Hayes is doing very well (other than this last week deciding he doesn't want to sleep through the night anymore-making for one tired mama) and growing more and more confident every day.  I'm planning a post later in the week on attachment and how he's done along the way, so stay tuned for that!

And because I can't have a post without pictures, here's out little punkin' after church yesterday.  You know I love a holiday-themed john john!  Thank you consignment sales! He is set for Halloween and Christmas!

Happy 4 months home, little man!  We love you so much and can't imagine our lives without you!

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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Halloween Costume Dilemma

Time to talk Halloween costumes, Wayman Family Nesters!  I have always loved Halloween and planning my costume.  This year we have our sweet little Hayes to dress up.  I figure I should have fun with it since we'll only have a few years before he has a say in it and mommy won't anymore!

So give me a shout with your vote.  (I'm hoping you'll come through for me this time since my iPhone 5 cover dilemma still hasn't been resolved)  Your comments make my day!

1. Cotton candy  2. Clark Kent  3. Spaghetti & meatballs  4.  Max   5.  Baby Yoda            6.  Scuba baby   7.  Mousetrap
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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Bringing Mary Home Handmade Auction

I just LOVE hearing about other adoptive families' fundraisers and helping spread the word.  This week the Dinsmore family (you know, Lara the Farmer's Wife?) is having an online auction to raise money to help bring their sweet daughter Mary home from Uganda.  Check out this video to find out more about their 2nd adoption:

Amazing, right?  So head over to their auction and show some love.  Christmas is just around the corner.  Start your shopping early!  Their auction is full of awesome handmade items. Here are a few of my favorites:

Here's the link to the auction.  The auction ends Thursday at 11:59 PM, so hurry on over!  I donated some of our tshirts and magazine bead necklaces we had leftover from our fundraising, so head on over and check it out!
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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

10 Months Old!

Our little man turned 10 months old on Sunday.  Time is flying by way too quickly!

Here are some things that Hayes has been up to:
- Loves to listen to music and for me to sing to him.

-Getting lots of new teeth!  He now has 5: 2 on the top and 3 on the bottom.

-Babbling.  He now makes a distinct "d" sound.  He even says "dada."  He doesn't know what he's saying, but he definitely says it!

- Loves for me to read to him.

- Cried for the 1st time when someone else was holding him and reached for mama (this was a good sign to us that he's attaching to mommy and daddy).

-Shaking his head "no."  (he doesn't always do it when he means "no."  Sometimes he does it just to be funny, but he does it a lot!)

-Showing more personality every day.  He loves to laugh (he's super ticklish!) and even mimics me sometimes.

-Going to the nursery at church for the first time.  We hadn't left him yet (one of us has always been with him since we got home), so this was a big step!

- Working on feeding himself.  Sometimes he'll do it and sometimes he likes me to do it.  But, he's eating lots of whole foods now!  He'll eat just about anything we have him try!

-Still loves to sleep.  Still takes 2 naps a day-anywhere from 1-2 hours and sleeps about 12 hours a night.

-Playing with his friends (this picture was taken right before he pushed poor Hudson over!)

-Sitting up in the grocery cart.  He used to slide through, so I always had to take the stroller.  Now he loves it!

- Playing with his cousins.  He thinks they're the coolest!

-  Pulling up on furniture. 

- Standing on his own for 10-20 seconds.  I found him standing in his crib last week and the hubby immediately lowered his mattress (which was long overdue!).

-Playing Patty Cake (he loves his great-grandmother!)

-Got his 1st piece of mail.  His new school sent him a postcard, which I thought was really cute!

Happy 10 months little man!  We love you!!!

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