Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Advice Needed!
Good Morning Wayman Family Nesters! First off, I wanted to give you guys a little adoption update. Right now, we don't have news per se, but we're expecting news later this week. According to our agency, we should be submitted to court in Ethiopia on Thursday of this week. So please pray that this happens.
Our agency thinks that once we are submitted, we should hear back about our court date (and when we'd be traveling) in mid to late March. They think that we'll be headed to court at the end of April or early May. Once we went to court it could be 1-3 months before we're cleared with the Embassy. This is all all just a guess based on how the wait is looking right now. It could be longer and it could be shorter.
We are prayerfully condsidering me staying in-country between the 2 trips. Here's my pros and cons list so far: pros: getting to spend time and bond with our sweet new baby; spending time in the home country of our son. Cons: the hubby not being able to stay much more than a week or so; expensive.
I'd love more advice from any of you mamas out there! We're not sure right now if we could work it out financially or if it's feasible at all, but we're praying about it. Feel free to shoot me an email at jenwayman@gmail.com if you have advice on the subject. I'll take all of the advice I can get!
P.S. Just a reminder that there's a couple of days left to buy some amazing jewelry in our name as the Hannah James Partnering Family! Check out the details here.
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Yay for trinkets of good news!
ReplyDeleteDid you check with your agency about staying in country? When the time between trips were shorter we told our agency about our thoughts that I would stay while my hubby would go home to be with our son (and to work!), they were completely against it, that they feel it could jeopardize our case and others cases if the courts felt we were trying to do good deeds to help facilitate the adoption. And that they could terminate our contract if problems in country arose.
But from my own personal perspective, I think it would be such a great opprotunity to learn about your child's mother country, spend more time with your child (if the orphanage permits it) and for me, there were opportunities to do missions work.
Hey,
ReplyDeleteAs much as you don't want to hear this I would say come back. The time between court and embassy is long and drawn out and painfully hard, but without the support of my husband living life right next to me I don't think I could do it. Being alone in a foreign country waiting through the "wait" would be really hard. I watched a friend go early and wait 3 weeks by herself - and she repeatedly tells me NOT to do it. They don't let you just have your child, even if you pass court. You have to wait until your embassy appointment....so that was really rough on my friend.
As awesome as it would be to live in Ethiopia and experience it for that long I would say come home. And trust me when I say I LOVE Ethiopia. I would LOVE to live there someday, but not during this wait. You will need the support of good friends close to you.
Also, you never know how long the wait will be. It could be very short or take FOREVER.....
Whatever you decide I will be praying for you friend. either-way. :)
It is in your 100% legal rights to keep your child with you if you have legally passed court in ET. Some agencies do not want you too and with some it may even be a breach of contract and the issue with that is that once you take them from the Thouse they do not have to take them back, say for instance the wait got too long or you had an emergency you had to go home for. So talk with your agency to see their specific stance. I have never heard of the courts caring and don't know why they would since they would have already approved your case, you would legally be your child's parent and the case is out of their hands and into USE hands. The USE however likely does not want you in country...but again...they can't keep you out. With a relinquishment case at this exact second it would be feasible to clear somewhat quickly, but with an abandonment you can pretty much count on your case staying with embassy for 6 to 8 weeks after submission and then being sent to Kenya then a week to get there and a week to clear. Our case was precisely 4 months from court until home.
ReplyDeleteDo what your heart is leading you and what is practical for your unique situation. There are pros and cons to them both and I wrestled with them all too!